http://www.teenpregnancy.org
| Content courtesy of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy http://www.teenpregnancy.org |
The National Campaign has asked teens from all over the country a simple question: If you could give your parents and other important adults advice about how to help you and your friends avoid pregnancy, what would it be? The following tips represent the major themes we heard from teens.
For instance, let us hear directly from teen parents about how hard it ahs been for them. Hearing the real story from teen mothers and fathers can make a big difference. Help us understand why teen pregnancy can get in the way of reaching our goals.
We're as influenced by what you do as what you say.
Just because we're young doesn't mean that we can't fall in love or be interested in sex. These feelings are very real and powerful to us. Talk to us about this (but no lectures, please). If you won't discuss these issues with us, please help us find another adult who will.
Explain why you feel that way (if you do) and ask us what we think. Tell us how you felt as a teen but understand that things may be different for us. Discuss emotions, not just health and safety. Listen to us and take our opinions seriously.
How do I know when having sex is the right thing to do? Should I wait until marriage? How far is too far for me or someone my age? How do I handle pressures from my friends? Will having sex make me popular? How do I know if I'm in love? How do I say "no?" If we don't start these conversations, you should.
"I would be extremely grateful if my parents talked to me about these issues. It shows that they care about the tough decisions that we have to make in our livers." -- Lara, 15, Teen People magazine "trendspotter."
We need to know how to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. That means information about abstinence and contraception. We need honest and helpful information from the people we trust most. If we don't get information from you, we are going to get it somewhere else.
We may just be curious, or we may just want to talk with someone we trust. And don't think giving us information about sex and birth control will encourage us to have sex. We need to know the facts so that we can make good decisions in the future -- maybe next week, month, or years from now.
Reward us for doing the right thing -- even when it seems like no big deal. Don't shower us with attention only when we do something wrong. Talk with us about our friends, our school, what we're interested in and worried about -- even the latest gossip. Come to our games and school things. Show us that you care what is happening in our lives.
Sometimes we have sex because there's not much else to do. If you can't be home with us after school, make sure we have something to do that we really like, where there are other kids and adults who are comfortable with us. If we're at a party, make sure there is an adult around.
Even though we may look all grown up, we still want your help and advice. But remember, your experiences are not the same as ours and the choices we face are often different. When we don't end up doing exactly what you tell us to, don't think that you've failed. And don't stop trying.
"The only thing my mother told me about sex is not to have it. That's not really an education. -- girl, 17
Please don't sit us down for a "sex talk." Instead, start talking with us about sex, love, and values when we're young, and keep the conversation going as we grow older. Making us feel comfortable and encouraging us to talk and ask questions is important too -- just make sure you listen to the answers.
"My parents haven't had the sex conversation with me yet. I think they just assume I'm not gonna get into that." -- girl, 17
We get it. We know the best way to protect ourselves is not to have sex. But we also need to know about contraception. It seems to us that adults waste an awful lot of time arguing about all this.