Friends,

Back to school we go!  And today's lesson is part 2 from last week on just "being yourself."  Let me start at the other end of the spectrum from where you likely are - with an 8 year old boy.  We have a running discussion in our family about how many more years to keep Jack in the Montessori program.  Teenage sisters weigh in: "You shouldn't keep him in Montessori all the way through elementary school," they say, "because Montessori kids are all just too different."  To which I reply "But, don't you complain about kids all acting alike, and about the pressure to conform?  Why isn't it great that Montessori lets kids be who they are, instead of making them feel like they're weird if they're not cut out of the same fabric as everyone else?"

Schools, like workplaces, and like authorized leaders, create structure and order and system to promote work.  Yet these dimensions of order may not promote what we most need to foster.  Increasingly we're realizing that we need to foster a passion to learn in workers and students alike - not just people who have knowledge; computers have plenty of that.  And there's a big difference.  So the question must continually arise:  to what degree do our structures, systems, and order foster learning, and passion to learn?

It's instructive to watch young ones who have been encouraged to be themselves.  We were up north with friends this weekend, and it was extraordinary to watch 6-12 year olds perform, improvise, and experiment - both in informal play, and when we gathered in the living room at night and invited them to perform before the group.  Piano, skits, songs, jokes, and just plain nonsense burst forth.  I couldn't help but think about the contrast with workplace systems and structures and seriousness.  These all tend to cause adults to hesitate to ever step out.  Last week I pointed to the credibility of leaders -- like the great Ernie Harwell -- who quite simply are themselves, unconcerned about how others view them.  But, as adults we tend to withdraw from risk and from our own unusualness, and instead, we conform.

And, here's the kicker.  When you are leading from a position of authority, there is even more pressure to be the consummate "organizational (wo)man," conforming in style and behavior.  You represent the family, the school, the church or organization.  And they expect you to act with dignity, class, and appropriateness.  Act not like a Montessori kid brimming with curiosity, but as someone always in control, buttoned down.  And what's the message that controlled seriousness sends...at a time when we hope our workers will see courage, openness, and great Socratic ignorance?  Well, I'm not saying you should run naked in the streets, but I am suggesting that the naturally conforming nature of being in authority necessarily means that you will tend to model conservatism and control, whether you want that or not.  God forbid you change your mind, or admit you don't know something, or wander off to pursue a passion for learning that doesn't directly tie to today's work.

To "be yourself," you must break free from the pressure, from within and without, to look like you always have it together.  To be a genuine person means LEARNING and EVOLVING.  Find a place for that - no matter if the kids expect you to know it all, or the company wants you to be in control.  If you are not unsure, open, risking, you can't possibly generate the experiences to make you genuine and credible.

Get back to school this week and rediscover or intensify your love of learning, so you can lead with your best self,

Dan

*In the learning system Maria Montessori pioneered, one of the core principles is that children have within them a natural desire to learn, and if you offer a rich environment to tap that intrinsic interest, they'll learn, and love to learn...each in their own ways, directions, and sometimes, pace.

Daniel Granholm Mulhern
First Gentleman
Office of the Governor
State of Michigan
(517) 241-0534

If you have received this forwarded from a friend or coworker, and would prefer to receive it directly, you may sign up for your own copy by sending a note to FirstGentleman@Michigan.gov.  RFL is distributed without charge.  To unsubscribe, write unsubscribe in the subject line and send to the same address.

"Seeing the magnificence in all people -- dedicated to their fullest success."

Copyright 2005 Daniel Mulhern.  I distribute RFL without charge to people with an interest in leadership, and grant permission to these recipients to distribute copies of these works to personal contacts for non-commercial purposes only.  All other rights are reserved, and requests for copying and distribution of these works may be made to FirstGentleman@Michigan.gov.  The views of this and other RFLs reflect my personal beliefs and may or may not reflect the views of my wife, Jennifer Granholm, or any other officials of the State government.