Dear Friends,
 
It has been a while since I shared some of the replies that you send to RFL.  But last week's column evoked many, varied and interesting replies.  You'll recall I started with a reader's feedback that RFL was too "goopy, rah-rah righteous," and I then wrote about Jim Collins' idea of asking questions and facing brutal facts.  Today I share with you excerpted comments.  Let me only say two things about them:  length prevented me from sharing them all; I invite you to notice how differently people hear and respond.  This rich diversity is why I so often say that a leader has to check their own assumptions, style, and habits; because different folks need different things.  Here's some of the interesting replies I received: 

1.  "As to asking questions...I tell folks that I want to be known as a wiseman....why's man.  I  tell them that I will ask lots of "why's" and hopefully through that get us all in a better position to understand and improve our processes."
   
2. "I think of your RFLs as helpful tools - ways to approach problems, people or life in general.  But they are hard for me at times because they are a bit superficial - again, I don't mean goopy, but they are about visible response options: ask questions, don't ignore the brutal facts, you don't have to pretend to be a know-it-all...etc.  I want to know more about emotional/invisible/internal response processing.  How do you get yourself to the point where the appropriate and visible response options become automatic - to the point where you are not hurt by the slam, but laugh at it and then learn from it?"
   
3. "I read with amusement someone's comments that you were "too goopy, ….righteous." In a world filled with corruption, it is a breath of fresh air to read your words each week. If you have struck a nerve, or caused some to be offended, it is because you have shared the righteousness of Christ, in your clear but subtle way, with others. I share your challenge to be discreet but firm with your faith. . . I am encouraged to read your weekly email, especially encouraged when I read between the lines, because I must present the gospel the same way in many of my meetings with people. Please keep doing what you are doing."
   
4. "Your last line ["learn with your best self"] is absolutely right on . . . it is about learning!  As I draw this part of life to a close and move to anther phase (which I hope will continue to include learning and contributing!) it becomes more and more clear that work is about learning and applying, and then learning more and applying more, and trying it again and again.  I know so much more now than in 1974 when my public service career began . . . but, wow, I certainly do not know enough! Leadership, like other behaviors, are based on what we've learned, understand in our gut, and have the courage to apply.  Being open to brutal reality means one has learned that we don't know it all and that we need to learn more from those who have the information, insight, experience.  Openness to  brutal reality through questioning requires emotional intelligence . . . which usually means one has learned about the emotional side of leadership and human interactions, as well as the value and need for facts and perceptions from all sources.  It is often easier to focus on known facts, and breaking issues into tangible pieces and parts, than it is to address the chaos or confusion that comes from being open and learning more and more.  I deeply believe that success tomorrow depends on learning more and more today."
   
5. "Creating  a climate where all parties feel safe to participate in processing the latest doings as to what worked, what did not and what can be done differently in the future is the hallmark of a healthy family, group, or club. After all, despite the complexities and magnitude of an organization, one really is dealing with human nature, until such time emotionless robots begin to rule and make the rules."
   
6. "Too often, men tend to be “either-or” thinkers, rather than “both-and.”  To paraphrase Jesus: “Render to Goopy what is Goopy’s and to Brutal what is Brutal’s.”
   
7. "In my work with leaders we are constantly wrestling with how to really pursue the truth and the facts.....(which aren't necessary the same thing), in order to be a community of learners about how the world is really working.   One notion that helps: "data are my friend".  Both the notion and the syntax seem odd, but both are right. 
   I remember writing a brief poem with the line, "The brutal facts aren't brutal they are just the facts."  In a sense facts are neutral. It is the story we tell about them because of what we WANT to be the facts, or the negative impact of the facts on our view of the world and our role in it, that makes them brutal facts, rather than beautiful facts.  But they are simply facts."
   
8. "I happen to be reading a biography of Alexander the Great . . . Alexander clearly was a Level 5 leader:  Unbelievable resolve (leading 30,000 men on a march across 3,000 miles of desert and mountains) . . . largely on foot, within a single year . .  [with] great humility before the army.  They loved him for it and followed him literally anywhere.  But he also was, well ... kind of goopy.  An essential component of his leadership was an unembarrassed belief in and commitment to the great Greek myths.  One of his burning ambitions in the Hindu Kush was to find the cave in which Prometheus was chained.  So ... the grizzled Macedonian veterans were led 11,000 feet up into the mountains by the 26-yr old kid who wants to find the mythic hero's cave?  Goopy?  Rah-rah? Plus he believed in and practiced the "diversity" of his day.  Definitely goopy.  Methinks goopy keeps not bad company."

I hope you enjoyed these thougths as much as I did.  They are a reminder to be open to the rich diversity of those around you, so you can . . .

Lead with your best self,

Dan

Daniel Granholm Mulhern
First Gentleman
Office of the Governor
State of Michigan
(517) 241-0534

"Seeing the magnificence in all people -- dedicated to their fullest success."

Copyright 2006 Daniel Mulhern.  I distribute RFL without charge to people with an interest in leadership, and grant permission to these recipients to distribute copies of these works to personal contacts for non-commercial purposes only.  All other rights are reserved, and requests for copying and distribution of these works may be made to FirstGentleman@Michigan.gov.  The views of this and other RFLs reflect my personal beliefs and may or may not reflect the views of my wife, Jennifer Granholm, or any other officials of the State government. 
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