Friends,

All of a sudden I found myself on a whole new frequency this week.  I was in Michigan's spectacular Upper Peninsula watching my wife banter with Tim Kobasic on his "Trails and Tales Outdoors Radio" show.  As Tim was discussing the great numbers of conservationists who are active volunteers, I bounced forward reflexively like a lower leg struck by a doctor's hammer (the word "volunteer" does that to me now).  I said to him and his listeners, as I have said to so many others around the state, that "we need to put the men back in mentoring."  Wouldn't it be great if some of those conservationists -- the bird-lovers and fishermen and hunters and hikers - shared their great times in the outdoors with a boy who could use a mentor?  As I was suggesting that mentors did not need to be trained psychologists or social workers to be good mentors, Tim broke in and said, "No, they just need to be themselves."  What more needed to be said?

His message echoed in my mind.  It seemed I had heard it recently.  Then I remembered this excerpt from Mike Plourde, an RFL reader who wrote me earlier in the week, about the thrill of having lunch with Ernie Harwell (the beloved, long-time Detroit Tigers announcer, now in his 80s and going strong).  Mike said of Ernie, what we might say of great, authentic leaders:  "Ernie is himself.  All the time.  He is a very personable, very gracious gentleman who quietly goes about being the best there is at what he does.  He allows nothing, neither good fortune nor bad, or any particular person or experience, to determine who or what he is.  He does not use the mantle of 'the best there is' to define himself.  He is much more than that.  He continuously remembers that he is a human being and that everyone else is also."

Then the next day my oldest daughter was talking about my brother Jim, with whom she had had one of those marathon, into-the-AM-talks through which a "kid" starts to become a "young adult."  "I really like Uncle Jim," she was telling me.  "I'm not just saying that to make you feel good, either."  So, I asked, "What is it about him that makes you say that?"  She said, "He talks to me like I'm an adult."  Tim Kobasic, Mike, and Kate were all saying the same thing: a mentor or a leader gets listened to, because they are not trying to be anybody but themselves.  I would add: and therefore, they let you be you.

It's a great reminder, as we try to live up to our titles.  Or live up to our reputations.  Or live up to the demands we feel press in on us.  Or live up to what we think are the expectations others have of us.  We can get all puffed up.  But credible leaders know themselves, and are reasonably at peace with that self.  So, they recommend that you:

Be yourself, and thus,
lead with your best self,

Dan

Daniel Granholm Mulhern
First Gentleman
Office of the Governor
State of Michigan
(517) 241-0534

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"Seeing the magnificence in all people -- dedicated to their fullest success."

Copyright 2005 Daniel Mulhern.  I distribute RFL without charge to people with an interest in leadership, and grant permission to these recipients to distribute copies of these works to personal contacts for non-commercial purposes only.  All other rights are reserved, and requests for copying and distribution of these works may be made to FirstGentleman@Michigan.gov.  The views of this and other RFLs reflect my personal beliefs and may or may not reflect the views of my wife, Jennifer Granholm, or any other officials of the State government.