Are YOU an Abuser?

Abusive behavior can fall into one of four categories: emotional, psychological, sexual and physical. What follows is a list of questions to ask about your dating relationship. If you answer "yes" to any of these, it is time to check your behavior. Abusive behavior can only be stopped if the abuser chooses to seek help and change the abusive patterns.

  • Do you constantly check up on your dating partner? (Where they are, who they're with, etc.)?
  • Are you jealous and/or possessive of your dating partner?
  • Do you act out of jealousy or possessiveness?
  • Do you often criticize or insult your dating partner?
  • Have you threatened or intentionally frightened your dating partner?
  • Have you abandoned or threatened to abandon your dating partner in a dangerous or unknown place?
  • Have you kicked, hit, thrown down, shoved, strangled or thrown objects at or near your dating partner?
  • Have you harmed, injured or killed pets or other animals?
  • Have you blamed your violent behavior on drinking, using drugs or your dating partner's behavior?
  • Have you coerced or forced your dating partner to have sex or perform sexual acts against her will?
  • Have you scared or intimidated your dating partner so he or she is afraid to say "no" to you?
  • Do you verbally degrade, insult or humiliate your dating partner?
  • Do you believe you are entitled to hit your dating partner if she/he does or says something you don't like?
  • Do you expect your dating partner to take responsibility for your behavior?
  • Do you think your dating partner may be afraid to break up with you because you have threatened to hurt her or yourself?
  • Have you made your dating partner believe that you don't want him/her to see certain people or be in certain social situations?
  • Have you ever threatened or considered suicide?

If you recognize your own behavior in any of these questions, help is available from the Domestic Violence Resource Directory.