Everybody loses his or her temper now and then. There’s nothing wrong with feeling angry. Stressful situations, bad events, misunderstandings – they happen. You lose your cool, and soon it’s over. Anger can be triggered by many things including:

  1. Hormonal changes really can cause mood swings and reduce your ability to control them.
  2. People who are under a lot of pressure tend to get angry more easily. Too many demands? Maybe it’s time to cut something back.

Your personality. You may be someone who feels your emotions intensely or tends to act impulsively or lose control. Recognizing this can help you manage it.

Your role models. If the people you’ve grown up with or live with are short-tempered, you might be used to blow-ups. You may not even realize that not everybody gets mad like the people in your household! Recognizing this can help you decide if you would like to make a different choice.

Is Your Anger Normal or a Problem?

Asking yourself a few questions and considering your situation can help you decide if your anger could be a bigger problem that you’d like to solve.

  • Do you sometimes wake up angry, or feel mad at the world?
  • Do you ever suddenly find yourself furious, without even knowing why?
  • Do you feel mad more often than you feel okay or happy?
  • Are you experiencing or have you had major upsets in your life?
  • Are you or have you had trouble with friends or family, abuse, loss, school or situations beyond your control?
  • Does your rage ever make you want to hurt yourself or someone else?

Unresolved emotion (conscious or unconscious) from past trauma or pain can be a powerful trigger. If you think (or are told) that you have an anger problem, talk to a trusted adult: a parent, counselor, or any adult with whom you feel safe and can share openly.

Self awareness + Self control = Healthy anger management!

  • Decide that you want to change anger in your life.
  • Write down the benefits of this change to your life.
  • Remember that change takes time, practice, and patience.
  • Give yourself time to develop and practice new skills and new responses.