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Middle School Years

INTRODUCTION TO SUPPORTED DECISION MAKING: AGES 11-14 YEARS

A room full of young tweens can be energizing or terrifying to parents and professionals who work with them. At this age range young people enjoy leadership roles and need to have a voice in decision making. Youth in this age range should be considered participants – rather than recipients – in the learning process. Youth want to feel ownership for projects, involving them in the planning results in buy-in and commitment from them.

Tweens are developing physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually. Physically, they exhibit a wide range of sexual maturity and growth patterns between genders and within gender groups. They may have rapid changes in physical appearance. Changes in their appearance can happen at different rates, causing great concern. This is a valuable time to help the young person in your life identify what makes healthy instead of unhealthy relationships. This is important in friendships and potentially romantic relationships later. They look more to peers than parents. They seek acceptance and trust. This can make tweens easy to take advantage of, so education about relationships is very important.

Emotionally, they compare themselves to others. They are concerned about physical development. They see themselves as always center stage. They are concerned about social graces, friends, being liked, etc. They strive for independence, and yet want and need adult approval. They seek privacy. Intellectually, they are developing skills in the use of logic. They want to explore the world beyond their own community, and this is a wonderful opportunity for families to share in teachable moments.

During this age range many children often shy away from parents because of the tweens’ need to pull away from adults and gain independence. Stay with the tween; get to know them as an individual and learn to understand and appreciate them for who they are, not just as part of the group. Your role in helping them to make good decisions is critical now.